Episode 116: Self Care is Preservation

In this week's episode, Marvette shares a call conducted by Dr. Joan Collier from inside the Finish Your Dissertation Program. In this conversation, Dr. Collier talks about the importance of self care and why you need to make your self care a priority when it comes to finishing your dissertation.

Follow along on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marvettelacy/

TRANSCRIPT:

Hey friends. The time has come to finish your dissertation graduate and become doctor. Welcome to office hours with Dr. Lacy, where we talk about how to finally master this time management thing. So you can stay on top of it without losing your mind. Every Wednesday, you can find a new episode wherever you listen to podcasts. Make sure you hit the subscribe button to make sure you never miss an episode. I'm Dr. Marvette Lacy, your dissertation writing strategist here to be with you along every step of the way. I would like to thank you for coming to today's office hours. Let's get started on today's episode.

Hey Scholar, what are your plans for the summer? How are you going to get your writing goals accomplish? I know you because if you're like me, which you're probably are because you listened to this, then I know you have all of the plans to do all the writing over the summer. But let me ask you a question. How has that worked out for you in the past? Have you just said, oh, I just need a break and you're just going to take the rest of May off. And then before you know it, it's back in July and it's time for the semester to start all over again. Or have you spent your whole summer working, working, and you looked up and you didn't do anything. You have no fun. I want to show you how you can have your hot girl summer and make progress on your dissertation.

We will be doing a special challenge inside of the finish your dissertation program for the summer. All about protecting your peace, drinking your water and minding your business and making consistent progress in the dissertation you want to sign up. You don't want to miss out, come on over to qual scholars.com and sign up. It's only 197 a month. You can cancel at any time, but I promise you, you won't want to cancel. So let's just be your sign and come join us. And I will see you inside the program. Okay, let's get back to this episode.

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to a new week. I am currently in the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin, my father, my brother, other family members wanted to take a fishing trip and tell me I had to come. But yeah, I wanted to spend time with everyone. And so that is what I'm doing. And because of that, I, this week on the podcast, we have a special guest. I would stay. So Dr. Joan Collier is one of our coaches, our amazing dissertation coaches or faculty and residents in the finisher dissertation program. She handles all of our she gets feedback to students. She's a great processor. She's a great researcher. I would even say a great deal login. And she is just an amazing person. And I thought, what better way to round off this academic year then to hear from the great Dr. Joan Collier, she is going to be talking about self care. So this is coming from one of our calls inside of the program. So if you're ever curious about what is it like to be a student in a program? This is a great example of that. And this conversation was so amazing that everyone on that call was like, it has to go on the podcast. So that is what we are doing this week. I would love to know your thoughts about what you hear today. We can continue this conversation over on Instagram at qual underscore scholars and without further ado, Dr. Collier.

So welcome to right away on the 21st is my stepdad's birthday. Happy birthday pops. Tonight we're talking about self care is self preservation. I feel like I can speak freely. It's been a hell of a week on so many fronts. So I am aware of their own still ache, still grief, still heart celebration, still agony, anxiety resting in my bones. Even as I celebrate Dr. Micah miles today or successful defense, I'm still exhausted by the world around us. And so I'm thoughtful of this being timely on any day, but particularly as we're in this particular season of, particularly for folks on a semester calendar folks are in or nearing toward the end of the term, they're tired. Rightfully so, and life is still happening. So we're going to roll up through tonight as always, Dr. Lacey is going to remind us that, you know, enough, you have enough and you are enough.

Reminding us that when we say affirmations that feel untrue, those are opportunities to investigate. What about that feels untrue and to work through that, not in that emotional muscle, so we can unpack that and that that muscle gets stronger. So when you say, you know, we know when you say you have enough, and when you say you are enough and it brings untrue, say it at work it out until it feels true. Okay, tonight, we're going to hang out for 60 minutes, do some check-ins and talk. We're not staying the full 180. We're staying until one 20 at the one 20 mark. If someone wants to take over hosting, they can and we'll keep the space open, but I will be not here. We're going to do check ins yanno. The first time I did this, I had everybody and their mama doing it.

So my bad, I know my lesson now, check in, get in where you fit in, you know, say what you need to say. I'll go first. Cause I'm, I don't know if everyone knows me. I'm Dr. Joan call you're on the faculty and residents have a PhD in student affairs. My energy, all of these are going to be skewed because I'm on vacation and I'm home at George's. So everything is going to be like stupid. My energy with all that joyous, still around a good seven. My focus is zero. I'm here with y'all. This is a different part of my brain. So that's fun. My piece is really not too high phase, probably around a CD. But my basics are pretty dope. I got up and did this cool workout this morning. I've been drinking my water.

And I get to read the books that I brought on vacation with me. And I'm celebrating from the past week getting through a heck of a week at work to go on vacation and actually break up already taken the email off my computer and I'll feel depressed about it. So whoever would like to go next can go next. You can just hop in because I can't see the whole screen. You can also check in in the comments. If y'all like non girl, we ain't got time to be talking. We tired. That's okay, too. How started south? Hey, Tyler, Wednesday and Tasha, Tasha, Tasha program, social justice. Yes. University of Missouri St. Louis scale of one to 10. I'm gonna just stay on for the, across the board. Cause I am a four scholar basis, our good celebrity from the past week.

I'm celebrating today. I got my hair braided. Yeah. I just it's been so long since I sat in the chair for that long, but I'm just so happy to not to be able to touch my hair for a long time. So thank you for this 16 ounces of water. Yes. I have some spout water here, Jonathan, 10 minutes. I'm still working on that move for 10 minutes. I need to, because my watch has been buzzing all day. Complete tap three. We still working on it. This I've been powering through the, the list that I made with Dr. Lacey on Sunday and PYD yeah, I'm in a good place. I'm still feeling good even though, you know, the end of the month is coming up is here. But it's cool. So I'm good. Yeah. I'm glad to hear that your hair looks beautiful. Thanks. I still don't have the patient style, a ball head scallywag and it's gonna stay that way for awhile. Yeah, I'm growing my hair back out. I don't know who told me who I thought I was, but okay. You're a grown woman. That's who, you're good to check in with you.

I'll go. I'm Gabby go by Gabby. I'm in the PhD program at Azusa Pacific university, but I physically live in Texas. On a scale of one to 10 energy, I'm just say I'm a solid seven I'm here, you know focus is all over the place. So I've got pockets of stuff that I got to do and I got, I got to touch on today. So I, but I think it's organized chaos focus. If I can say it like that, then I'll probably say I'm like a solid six. My piece is, is there I'd say I'm at a solid seven scholar basics. I took time from my, well, I haven't taken time for myself. It's what I'm wind down. 64 ounces of water. I mean, this lemonade got water in it. Right?

So that counts, right?

Yeah. So journaling, we still working on that one and moving for top three. I mean, I walked across campus, so I feel like that counts. And my top three, I'm still working on it. So I'm here. I'm blessed.

If the color purple still here, we also hear anybody else don't want to belabor the point, but want to make ones with both send by themselves into the conversation or we can slide them onto the next time. Okay. We'll fly it on the line. This must be miss self care. Audrey Laura was was a just brilliant ruin for us. This is her quote that says you good. You are a okay caring for myself as not self-indulgence. It is self preservation and that is an act of political warfare. I, the Lord her, her, her quote has been taken out of tremendous context, right? So we see it and people rant and rave about how they're getting a Manny petty. And that's not that that's not care, but they talk about how they are taking vacation. And I'm not saying that that's not care, but I do.

Laura was literally talking about taking care of herself, taking care of ourselves in a community sense. And in a personal sense in that surely for people of color women, fem folk, the idea that we would have the audacity to care for ourselves, that we would have the audacity to get sleep, to rest ourselves, to have good, healthy food, to have love with people that we would make time for ourselves at the expense of productivity at the expense of capital at the expense of production is not even self-indulgent right. It is, it is self caring, but it's literal political warfare. And the idea that the idea that we should care for ourselves was built into policy that care was not provided for us. And so, yes, we can talk many patties and yes, we can talk about a lot of things, but this radical notion of actually taking care of ourselves requires us to rescale reshipped our lives.

It requires us to make demands of other people and to hold boundaries for ourselves. I was told that Audrey Lord actually talked about this as she was battling cancer and what it meant to fight for herself. And, and that context means something even different. As I'm going on vacation now, back home in Georgia, in the middle of a pandemic, thinking about self-care for me is not seeing all the people that I love and allowing myself to rest. Even as I know, there are things that need to happen. People who wants to see me, people who I have not seen in years and political warfare, well, why can't you just see us? Why can't you just come over? Why can't you just make the drive? Because I need to take care of myself. I need to rest. My job is stressful. And when I made the drive back to New Jersey, I go back to work.

So we'll talk about what this looks like, and I'm sure everyone here has had they self care story. Y'all lied. It put me in charge of my own electronics. So my story, first of all, part of my self care is taking these daddy because we had picture day at work. This is how self care kind of shows up me. I'm real extravagant. I've been told not to call it extra because that diminishes all my good stuff, right? I'm extravagant, I'm extraordinary. And self-care for me is looking how I want to look. The work I do at brokers is director for institutional equity at strategic initiatives. And that's a whole lot to say, I'm a catch all for my opt, for my senior vice president for equity. And I'm her connector across faculty, staff, or student. And I'm wanting to make sure I look, look, but they want to go try my nurse and make me look dusty on a website.

It wasn't happening. But when we talk about being in that student, Dr. Lazia now just used to be John and Margaret and the story of self care and our doctoral program was just really interesting. I'm trying to see how late is that. Okay. Let me keep this short as short as I can, without doing an injustice to it. I entered my doc program five years after earning my masters. I had been a professional. I lived in New York. I moved back to Georgia to work at my Alma mater. And I was like, I'm going to go get this doctorate. I had been at the university of Georgia as a master student, and I hated it. I absolutely hated how oppressive it was. I was very clear on what white supremacy look like, but it looked very different than what I had grown up with and was accustomed to.

And I knew that I knew that was going to be part of it, but you don't understand doctoral work until you have to start it. And what it means to do your internal work, even as you're doing the external work to become that scholar. And so part of doctoral education and really master's work any sort of post-graduate work, is it constant invitation of poor critique and in a system where critique is the norm, it is really easy to be unsure and become an anchor because part of exploration is questioning everything, including the very things that ground you. And so in the process of trying to learn a lot, you can kind of get shifted around. And so I was clear because I'm a student affairs person and slash part might be a lot of things, but that transition theory is like my go-to EVP, the frame out.

So I knew I needed support. I knew I needed some other scopes and some more things. And so I said, how do I build care into this process? I can't control necessarily. I can't necessarily control everything, but something back have some say, so in our, who I get to be. So when I want to company and there was no community, I be on community. So I got the black girls together. Sometimes I bring the black men along where they was carrying on. So I can't wait for them. I got to go. We would do brunch in books. Basically. We were right in do brunch. Marvin and I worked in residence life and we had access to all the buildings. And so we would by we, I mean, I would dress up the big dining room meeting area and I would say, just send out texts.

And we would come over and do that care, looked like saying we were tired and going to bed care, looked like barbecues at [inaudible] house. When we all still had to ride and needed to be in community care, looked like having people who could tell me, I know you're tired, take your risks. And then we actually have to get this work done through my doc program. That's what it looked like. Care also looked like me saying I can do a dissertation that can give me a tenure track faculty job and do some more stuff. And I can also grieve my mentor, who died as I was doing data collection. And I need to get out of here. Right? Care looked like telling my partner at the time. I can't go to Thanksgiving with you because I have deadlines. I need to meet mom. Can you come to me for Thanksgiving and cooked for my friends who need to stay behind?

Right. And do these things. Post PhD care looked like abandoning tenure track opportunities that I thought were mine to do what worked for Joan, letting go of the pressure. Very begrudgingly that if I didn't have a tenure track job, I wasn't a real PhD. Right. Because that's some of the narrative is that, oh, you have to do all these things. Caring for myself, meant letting go of what people think to make sure that I was okay because post PhD, I went to a visiting assistant professor job and a place that was not a good look for me at all, in any capacity. And so caring for myself. And I actually had to divest from some things and prioritize my actual care. There were days when I couldn't get out of bed and my bed would call and say, just walk to the mailbox, just walk to the mailbox because I couldn't even do that.

It was just a lie. And so it's not self-indulgence, it is self-care because one of the facts of life is that the world will eat you up. It absolutely will. And if we're blessed, if we're lucky, if we built it, pick one of those. We have people around us who say, you're not in your best place. Let us love you. Let us help you because what's coded into what I'd be saying is we don't do this alone. We don't. We have people who are in our corners who pull us together. That's a real short story, but care for me, look like saying when I leave San Antonio, I have no need to come back. It looked like saying if I don't have joy, when I write a cover letter, I'm not writing the cover letter. I will be without a job on my line, sisters couch at 30 something years old, before I be in a place where I can't thrive and I can't be well, I will piece together stuff, jobs and make way less than my earning potential until I can be whole and well, in my mind, before I allow myself to be constantly questioning myself and unsure, I must care for myself.

And I must let the people who love me care for me. I must let them care for me. I have to let people who love me care for me. And can we have the accountability of saying, you're not yourself? What is it that is going on? We see you, girl, we see the best of you. How do we get you there? So some practical pieces I'll move on here cause I can get beside myself. And I do want to entertain some conversation. Some pieces that kind of helped me get through some stuff and helped me get my life together. Around, came from myself as a scholar because I can struggle there sometimes. Oh my God. Why did I put this on here? Why do I have to tell the truth? Why do y'all make me tell the truth? Let the lie of procrastination and perfectionism.

Yeah, I think I'd be out here talking to me. I'll be talking to myself. Amen. so procrastination, I have all the therapists named Leslie and Leslie used to snatch me baldheaded every time. Like I just loved hate is going to her. Perfectionism is a myth. It's a lie. It is a lie. It's a lie. And perfectionism is what happens when we live in a false procrastination is us saying, I don't really want the critique of my authentic work. So I will drag my feet to then it give you something that allows me to hide under the cover of, well, this isn't even my best word because I waited till the last minute. For me, that was a trauma response that I didn't know, came out of trauma. And trauma can be defined in a whole bunch of ways, but that is what procrastination can be.

A perfectionism is also a response to trauma or response, not wanting to critique because if we understand that we are human and humans are inherently perfect, that there is no actual need to be perfect. That's just not what that is. And we don't have a need to always be right. And always a hundred percent. My iPad, ain't always at a hundred percent. Right. And so let that go and whatever you need to divest from to do that, do that, whoever you need to surround yourself with remind you that, do that find or create accountability for your habit of writing. If it's virtual meetups, if it's a text thread, if it's a shared document, do that. So for my CV and LinkedIn writing updates me and one of my old colleagues from way back in the day, we keep a document and every X months we check in and see that we updated our CPS or that we've updated our LinkedIn bios or our information.

I used to earlier last semester, I have a writing group that I would get with once or twice a week. They would be doing real, like rolling up scholarship writing. I'll be doing my administrative work, but it wasn't time for me to focus on the thought work of that job and not just the, how do I get things done, combine writing with another practice. This weekend I'll be doing brunch with my home girl while we both have, right, because I'm on vacation, but I want to read that's the accountability space for me and our grad program. We made it up now, granted, we had a bunch of us in community and we made community. Sometimes folks say, if it's not there, it's not there. You actually have to build community. And because zoom is normal now in a way there wasn't even just five years ago, you can do that virtually and safely in person with people, with whom have either been vaccinated or with whom were already in your bubble, move your body body.

I'm not a fan of being stagnant. So I'm not a fan of doing movement that harms your body, or that causes you to question your own value. I'm saying, move your body in ways that affirm you. Ways that move the energy in and out yesterday was a tremendous day. I had to do a workout that would get some of the energy out and allow new energy to flow through. And I don't want my hips knocking in hollering, Hey man. So I have to move them around so they don't get stiff and be looking at saying do that because I'm stress sits in our bodies. The body keeps the score is a really great book about how that works and particularly for people of color and for women and femme folks we internalize that stuff and it tears up our hearts to terms of our digestive systems.

You think you got into ingestion because you keep eating some foods just because that's stress, don't settle down. That's not the end all be all. And it is to also the case, invite feedback from other perspectives that you value and respect. Everybody can read your writing period. And there are some people who can absolutely provide you feedback that you, that that would be helpful. So when you invite people to give feedback, invite them and provide them some direction for what you want that feedback to look like. I'm, I'm asking you to think through flow, I'm asking you does the way I'm writing a line with a critical perspective. I'm asking you to fit two, to read through this and then see if my findings are in alignment with some stuff earlier on in the writing. I I'm offering this to you to make sure that it's in a tone that matches the audience that is going to help people help you.

When you're asking for feedback in writing your journal or a non evaluated ways outside of your dissertation. I used to blog. That was great. I used to write really indignant long behind posting on Facebook. I don't do that no more. Cause I don't have time, but reclaiming the craft of writing in a way that you're not evaluated on allows you to still have a relationship with a writing that isn't as combative, abusive, stressful, so that you can still engage in writing as a way of expression without having to be like, someone's going to have something to say, it's hard sometimes to turn your brain off when you're anticipating the critique all the time. And I also offer if you're anticipating the critique, you can't actually let your mind run, right? So let your mind run and then come back to the potential critiques questions, tips that helped shared stories, pieces that resonated I'm going through the check.

Cause I was over here running my mouth. Hey, check in folks, Hey, Hey, I was telling people's business. I ain't going to be telling people's business. Whenever we share our stories. I don't believe in going through stuff. The other people can't learn from like sometimes we go through stuff because we just have to write. And if there's lessons that we've learned for ourselves, they may be able to help other people and, or just bring with other people. And so I want to folks that have that and just also say, you know, my story doesn't have to be your story. I hope that your story is better than mine. That it's healthier than mine, that you don't have to wait until years after your dissertation is done to find out how you take better care of yourself. And don't beat up on yourself. If you're just picking out what that looks like, it shifts over time.

What worked for me at 25 didn't work at 30, 39 and 35. I'm a whole 37 now. And that didn't work. Cause I'm grown now as the younger folks say, I'm brown Cameron riding with cries you to be real with yourself. Why do I write this stuff down and then be mad? Cause I wrote it. Yeah. You know, when you're writing in the academic realm, writing is kind of like your currency. It is your official expression and communications about the way you understand ideas and articulate them out. And that requires you to be very clear with yourself, right? Not ugly to yourself. Sometimes people get real and digging like, well I'm just being honest. No, no you're being rude. You can be rude to yourself. It, and it's time that you're rude to other people. You can be rude to yourself and there's no need to do that.

Being real with yourself and saying a way of doing that might be saying, this is necessarily something that I want to be doing, but it gets me toward my goal. Let me sit down and do right in one of my programs, we say, you get to a, oh well moment. I don't want to do it and I need to do it all. Well, I don't want to do it. Oh, well, okay. Well you said it. So go ahead and do it. It requires you to be real in that. Sometimes you're scared. It's okay to name it and say, I'm really scared to go down. Know how this all turned out. Try it anyway. We used to say back in the day, right? Scared, right. Crying, right. Emotional eating, right, whatever you're going to be doing, what however you feel and right. Be sad and like be mad and right.

Be happy and right. It doesn't make it any less true. It just means that you are being honest with yourself and you're doing it. I also find that when you're writing, honestly, you have more confidence in the work and in the feedback that you get from people who you trust or whose critiques you do trust, you can have a more honest conversation about it. And you're having the conversation from a more short place at the least. It's a more honest, authentic place from which you can operate from any feedback for that. Any thoughts about that? Not going to be like girl. Now we're going to write and I would not be mad, but I also just want to leave room. Dr. Lacey and I are home girls and like scholar twins basically. So we, we met in grad school. She was my powerful partner, but she was booked and blessed that first year.

So I didn't really get to hang out with her a whole lot. And then our second year, she came over to her residence life and we got to be like BFS neighbors. I didn't know. Nobody told me I'll be here. And keeping, I got to tell you something later too. I just, I just found out. I was like, wow. We became powerful partners and had a good time and became literal neighbors. She lived across the great lawn for me. And just figuring out how to do authentic scholarship together was a fascinating journey. So when I say she's my sister scholar, I mean that to my core she got me through breakup. She got me through ugly phone calls. We got each other through like whatever at one point. So we defended one day apart. Our dissertation anniversaries are April 10th and April 11th. And the weekend before we defended, we said, we're going away.

We are packing bags and we're going to Atlanta. And we ate chicken wings and did hood writings with non-wood red friends. I'm not a hood rat a kid. And she's not really either. She be trying to carry on what she's heard. And we literally just kicked it at like a condo in downtown Atlanta. And then when we left there, we went and got jewelry. So we could have like fun times, but we had a lot of questions through our process. And so self care in a process where I decided to change my dissertation topic, I think I became a candidate in April after I halfway fill preliminary exams, which was its own thing shouldn't have happened, but okay, here we are. Black girl magic should have been black girl sorcery. Okay. I should've put some roots on people. Bounce back from that, stressed out, decide to change my topic, but a different direction because that direction wasn't going to work.

And my chair didn't know how to catch up with those sorts of things and said, okay, move in different direction. Defended my proposal that I had to bust my butt to get together in November, which is why I couldn't go home. And my mom had to come cook for us, got RB approved. Marvis chairs sent an email to her that said, if you want to graduate by this date, this is what I need. Okay. My chair didn't send that email. So my bedtime sent it. I would have graduated with my timeline, started collecting data. My mentor had been fine. I got a call from my other mentor that she died. Okay. Let's take a break for three weeks and not write or collect data. Ooh. And you got to get out of here and transcribe, analyze, and write all this up and get outta here and defended and pull stuff together.

And, and you're trying out a new methodology because it works best for your group. And then you realize your dissertation should have been a study of this new methodology. And this other stuff would have been secondary to what you were doing. But your chair didn't know that because that's not their area. Right? So just there's just so much. And then unwinding all of that to then start new careers that you're not sure are the right places, but there may be places. And so care is a perpetual task that also requires you to be open enough to say this isn't working. This is not working. What is this? That is not working? What is it? And what is like, what is it that you want to do? So not just this isn't working well, what do you want it to be? And figuring out how you do that and how you carry yourself to that never alone you are ultimately accountable for, but you got a crew of people.

Care is typically not individual is collective. I can be fine, but if my family's unwell, am I really fun? So today we might be individually doing fine. We are exhausted. We're exhausted. Collectively exhausted from pandemic, from school, from people being murdered by the police in a, maybe someone gets a charge. Maybe someone gets convicted and people are still dead, but still being killed that people are still homeless and people are still getting sick. People still don't have money. People still don't have jobs. All we are. Are we okay? And then how do we call on knowledge that we might potentially probably many of us come from people who've never been fully. Okay. And who still manage to care for ourselves and create love and create joy and find ways to push through and make it happen. So we don't just have that collective pain. You have collective care because sometimes that's all the pad.

So it's not that we don't know how we have to remember how to do that. We don't come from people who forgot how to we come. We come, people who know how to do that. We figure it out. I'm moving on because I get beside myself. I'm a preacher in a different life. Not really. I need to go to seminary, but I just refuse because then I'll be kicked out my church. So remember you're worthy.Remember? So the dealer would say, remember open for a disease reclose for a deceased member that remembering is a consistent, conscious act that you are worthy. Remember when something feels untrue, you figure out what about it is making you feel that way. And you work through that. Not in your muscle. You are worthy my best friend. I'm with him for the week. Every morning, every night he goes, I'm thankful for this job because when people try, you gotta be like, what do I need to do to get to me where I need to go?

But he's faculty. He planned in my face. Like, I don't know what I'm talking about, but I like paying my rent. Okay, great. I'm gonna make a song. You all worthy. And because this is true, you are worth the time and energy of love of care and wellbeing. It's okay to take time for yourself. I'm going on vacation for 10 days and what should I be sending me a call, a text, an email. I already took the email off. My iPad already will stop all fall apart while I'm gone, maybe, but I'm on vacation. I can't do work and not rest. You got to rest. Rest is a prerequisite for the work. It's okay to start working to drink a glass of water that work's still gonna be there while you come back from that wall, that work's still gonna be there. When you move your body for 10 minutes, that work's still going to be there.

You know, what's not going to work. If you don't, you ain't going to work. If you don't get your water, the first thing to go is your brain. It's a whole bunch of moisture. You don't get your water. You start making bad choices. And I was a conduct officer and my students would come in. Ms. Jay, I just messed up. Oh, you must be dehydrated for you making bad decisions. You need to get you some water. I was such a jerk, but I love them. You must be dehydrated. I had making these poll decisions like Twinkie. It's okay to pause your readings so you can move your body or Germany. Your thoughts. What if I told you, moving your body, help Chuck energy move. What if I told you, when you disconnected from the work, you can come back to a stronger. What if I told you, when you move your body, your body remembers things that your mind has forgot.

They can loosen up things. That's why we shake stuff up. Sometimes gotta loosen some things. Moving around. You moving that around. Sometimes I turn on Beyonce and dance and then I go back and be like, I got the answer. Or I feel like I dance, but I feel better. I'm preaching better than y'all let no. That's okay. It's okay to focus. Only on three tasks each day, you ain't got to multitask all the time. I know capitalism says you do, but you know, you worry about 50 things and you get three things done. You did three things. And I ain't worried about 45. That's why they call it a job. There's always work to do. Don't miss it. You're up. All of the, you are worthy of being human. You get to rest, you get to drink water. You get to rock your hips and lean and dip.

You get to do you to, you get to do I get hips away, then dip and sip and all of that. You get to do all of that. You get to do all of that, just so we clear. If you feel like you're not worthy to do it, or you haven't earned it, you don't get to earn being human. You are, you simply and humans have to drain. Yes. Not to add that to the playlist. You simply are. You ain't got to iron being human. You don't, I don't care what the constitution used to say. You don't, you just are. Thank you for joining in

For today's office hours. If you're ready to take this work to the next level, I invite you to join the happy freedom pay collective. We will show you how to finish your dissertation and build your consultant business, using the skills and knowledge you already possessed. Come on over to Marvette lacy.com and let's get started. I'll see you on the inside of the collective bye for now.