Dr. Marvette Lacy Ph.D., (she/her) is the founder and CEO of Qual Scholars where she helps higher education folks finish their dissertations and start a profitable consulting business.
In this week’s episode, Marvette speaks with her friend, client and fellow coach Dr. Shaquinta Richardson about her journey from faculty to consultant. Dr. Richardson gives advice and actionable information about making the jump from faculty to a coach and how you can do the same.
Okay. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to a new week of the podcast. I’m so excited. So over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been talking more about having your own consulting business. And for those of you who are thinking about venturing into this world, and today we have a special treat. If you read the email before coming here, and then you know that we will be talking today to Dr. Shaquinta Richardson, and many of you probably heard the previous podcast with her. If you haven’t, you need to go, listen, we’ll put it in the show notes about the number and where you can find it.
But today we’re going to be talking about her journey and exiting from higher ed. Cause y’all know, the, my, my new personal mission is to help the people, um, leave higher ed who want to, um, or if you want to stay to enjoy it, but still know that you can have freedom and making your own money if that’s what you choose to. So today Shaquinta has graciously agreed to share her story with us. Um, and as someone who has been working with me on the business side of things like that, it would be great for you to hear a story of someone who’s been through it. Um, and to just help demystify this process a little bit more, cause I know a lot of people are still learning more about the coaching space, the online business space, and it is helpful when we can hear from actual people, who’ve been through it, who are going through it and the lessons that they learned. So without further ado, welcome to Shaquinta today to the show. How are you? Thank you. I am excited to be back.Yes. Uh, and let’s just remind people and do a quick intro. Who are you? Tell us a little bit about yourself.
So I am Dr. Shaquinta Richardson online is Dr. Shaquinta and I am a marriage and family therapist by training. Um, have a PhD in human development and family science with an emphasis in marriage and family therapy and disability studies. Um, and so I have been a, you know, previously a professor and clinical director for a master’s program. And I left that. Um, I was simultaneously, uh, doing my private practice as a therapist where I specialize in working with, um, basically marginalized group. So people around into intergenerational trauma, identity related trauma experiences of racism, sexism, homophobia, et cetera, et cetera. Um, and then, you know, couples relationships as well. And so I’m still doing that. Still have my private practice based in South Carolina and just expanded to Texas and also doing coaching for high achieving Black women, um, to help know balance priorities, learn how to manage time and reduce stress and just learn how to be free and then live a life of freedom and joy and happiness.Hmm. And because I know those in my audience, I’m sure people are like, wait a minute, that’s a whole business. How is that a business? Tell me more like people pay you for that. Can’t they do that on their own cause. So can you tell us a little bit more about, um, that part of life and what does that look like for people who may be interested in learning more?
So, you know, I’ll always think about this too, of like, you know, people thinking I can do this on my own, but the reality is we don’t, we’re not the majority of people that I know the majority of clients, um, friends, Black women period, that I know and see are typically stressed out, overwhelmed. Um, prioritizing everybody else around them. There are very few people that I know that had worked with me or that aren’t connected to me, um, because I preach it every day. So they know I’m going to ask. Um, but so often you ask a Black woman, you know, what do you do for yourself? How do you take care of yourself? And so often the responses, what do you mean? What do you mean take care of myself? What do you mean time for myself? I don’t have time for that. And so many of us are wrapped up in kind of stuck in that loop of perfectionism and wanting to like get to the top when you’re reading, you know, tapping systems that didn’t make the list. That’s how I got the story, but it is part of the story. Um, and so, um, where I come in is providing that support and that encouragement and that kind of accountability, but it’s really reminding Black, Black women to give ourselves grace. And, um, what it looks like to make space for ourselves because the narrative that we continuously tell ourselves that there’s not time, we don’t have any space really do, but we don’t know how to find it or how to make it and what it really looks like. So that’s where I come in. So yeah, there’s definitely a space where there’s definitely a market. Um, because so many women are wrapped up in this, this pattern in this system that keeps both keeps us all overworked and oftentimes underpaid and stressed out and, you know, feeling like we, we don’t deserve or can’t have real peace and joy, just kind of accepting what is, and that’s not serious.
And I’m just thinking, cause last night and the coaching call for the finisher dissertation part of the program, there was that a student who usually when people join I spend, probably the better part of the first two or three months in that program, coaching them on taking a break. And the first step for me is like, I just need you to take a 24 hour period off. Right? So if your brain can’t wrap around, you know, taking Saturday completely off, can we do something where you go from 5:00 PM, Friday to 5PM, Saturday, or whatever that might look like, or even if that’s splitting it up, but just trying to get people to get to a point of just taking a whole day off, um, this particular student, she was like, no, I don’t know what language you’re speaking, but I don’t know what words you’re saying. Like, um, and we all, as a collective are trying to, especially clients who I’ve coached really hard on taking a break and finally on this side of things they see when we rest, like we think rest is a luxury or rest is something to be earned. But when you can allow yourself to fully see that rest is a necessity and by taking rest and taking care of myself, I can go so much further than I could if like pushing through. But she was just like, I just can’t see it. I don’t, I just can’t do it. You’re asking too much of me. And so what, and I know this is not our main topic, but I’m just curious, how do you help clients to just get to the first step of being able to recognize that, no, you can’t, you don’t, we don’t, we’re not earning rest. This is what we need.
So what I’ve found, just kind of talking through this, and I’ve talked about this in the workshop the other day, this world of oftentimes when people hear rest, they automatically associated with laziness and if I’m resting, then I’m being lazy. And if I’m being lazy, then I’m being unproductive. If I’m being unproductive, then I’m, I’m worthless. I’m a burden on other people. I’m not doing my part. I’m going to be a failure. So it’s like this, this, you know, the spiral. Um, but the, the, the starting point is rest equals lazy and we internalize this message of risk equal and lazy so much that we don’t actually see what’s actually happening. You can be working 12 hours a day, or you can go to class and you can write for seven hours and you can do this and do that and all this other stuff.
And still look at that and say, I’m being lazy if I take any fraction of that. And so part of what I start with is even interrogating that this idea of being lazy, what that even means, where that comes from, and in my work, I’m very intentional about calling out like white supremacy has been contributed to these ways of looking at ourselves and how this idea that, you know, if we’re not the hardest working Negro, if we’re not showing up for not the law, the first one in the last one out, if we’re not outworking everybody around us, then we’re not worth being here. Like that comes from somewhere like that comes from a history of our family members, our ancestors that has been passed down, you don’t get to sit down and rest because you have to, that’s how you get your privileges. That’s how you get your validation of your worth. And it it’s, it’s so ingrained in us that we can’t see it when it’s happening. So that’s where I start with my clients. Um, but then also, like I started with just 10 minutes, 10 minutes, just sit down and do nothing. And show yourself that the world didn’t fall, All the world didn’t crash, nobody died. It’s okay. Right there. And kind of build from there because so much, like you have to see that it’s okay. It’s okay.
Okay. Yeah. Um, and usually the clients that I go, I guess, quote, unquote, the hardest on are the clients that I see. Cause they can’t see that they’re in the, the eye of the storm of burnout and they can’t see like the ripple effects that that’s causing the toll it’s taken on their body, their wellbeing, their mental health. And so I am usually pushing hardest because I see like, Oh, you just like one step away from you not being able to do anything that you can see it yet. Um, so now I do like that, like interrogating the laziness and putting the onus back where it needs to go. Like I have my workshop. I was like, you know, white supremacy is a hell of a drug. And particularly at those of us who are social justice warriors, um, entrenched in the DEI space, if you want to do some real interrogations of the ways in which oppression shows up, interrogate your thoughts and stories around laziness, what does it mean to rest? What does it mean to care for yourself? So, um, I am curious, then you’ve been making a transition from faculty life to like, okay, well, I’m going to do this on my own. Well, what was that like?
Oh, that was scary to say the least. Um, it was, it was so scary. And I, so I started, I started my private practice in 2019, so that was my first like kind of foot Megan to foot into the door of entrepreneurship, if you will. And so I had already planned on, um, taking my practice, making that my leaving academia, once I was, I was getting married, I was moving. Um, and so I was like, okay, I’ll try to build my practice over time. And dah, dah, dah, dah, it’s going to take, you know, the next two, three years to build my private practice. Um, but then I had this idea of, um, starting the coaching business based on what I was seeing in my practice with my, with my women, clients of the same thing that we’ve been talking about of, you know, not being able or not, not having feeling that we have the space to take care of ourselves or, um, golden child syndrome, all these different things and really wanting to focus a service on that. And knowing, seeing, seeing my friends, like I’m surrounded by, you know, former gifted Black girls and I see it, I See it.
And so, like seeing, seeing it in my peer, seeing it in my friends, um, and seeing it in my clients, I was like, something has to be done. Like this is not okay. And really just having the courage to say, okay, I want to create this thing and trying to figure out how to, how to make it happen. In terms of making it a business, at first, I was like, I don’t know how this can work. I don’t know if people going to pay for this. Cause like, it’s not a tangible thing. It’s not, you know, it’s not a product, it’s not something that people, um, you automatically look at it and say, Oh, hell yeah, I need that. You know, that’s, that’s not. Um, and so it was really just believing and knowing that they’re like, this is needed and it being more of a purpose for me and just kind of trusting, trusting that it’ll it’ll if, and when it needs to happen. So that’s how it got started.So that’s fascinating. Cause it’s like, you know, people are paying for therapy Right. Pay for coaching.
And so how,yeah, go ahead. I was like, I had so many limiting beliefs when I first, when I first started this, when I first started conceptualizing of this because you’re right. Like people do pay me for therapy every single week and have been for almost 10 years now. Like yes. But then I was like, but it’s not therapy though. I mean, I’m the same person I have the same credential’s. I have the same experience. I have the same knowledge, but it’s like, it’s not therapy though. So I don’t know. I just, I just had all these thoughts about what people see value in and I wasn’t, I wasn’t correct. And I’m glad that I wasn’t.
Did you think, like you needed to get something extra, like some extra education or certification in order to be a coach.
I did. I did Well, Let me, let me not say that that’s, that’s not necessarily true. Um, so I did feel like I had the tools. I felt like I had the tools. I felt like I had the knowledge, um, like coaching and therapy, a different, but there are some aspects of therapy that we, that are taught in coaching that like, it’s just kind of packaged a little bit differently. Um, and so, yeah, I felt like I had that, but I did feel like, okay, I need to learn, I need to know how to do this. I know how to do this thing. I don’t know how to do this. Um, so there were some pieces that I felt like I was missing and I needed to do all this research and preparation. And none of those things proved to me
Because I wanted to highlight that. Right. Like, cause as someone, right, like the degrees, you have the experience that you have, right. Like to normalize that for people like, yeah, you, we, going back to our earlier part of this conversation, you.
We’re conditioned to thinking that we have to constantly prove yourself and have all credentials to do something. And we’ve been conditioned also not to listen to our own voice and to recognize our own brilliance. Um, so that could be a huge thing that stops people from pursuing something like I’m a, you know, I’m gonna have my own coaching business. Um, so tell us a little bit more about like your experience of getting your first client or how is that for you?
Okay. So whew. So I, I was doing some, I was on a program, um, where, you know, trying to figuring out, you know, how do you get started? What are the, you’re the first few steps of getting started with being a coach. And literally I did what was laid out and I got a co I got, I, I literally just showed up on social media. I literally just started talking about what I’m doing and why, and said, here’s how you book a call with me. And within two weeks of establishing my well, two weeks of doing that program. And within a month of establishing my business, I had my first client at $3,000. I had my first client, well actually a little more than that because it was a payment plan. So I was like, what? Wait a minute.
And I laugh. I’m laughing because I was also doing a workshop a couple of days ago. And I said, yep, all you gotta do is show up. People want to see what you think is boring. They want to know your life. All you got to say, is this what I offer? People will respond people that it’s not that simple. I need the website. I need the logos. I need the colors. And like, no, you just need to show up on the social media. And I did not have a website at that point.I did not have a website. I haven’t social media and Instagram. That’s all I had.
Yeah. That’s Oh, I can’t. I just want to take that part out and just put that on the sales of like, you don’t need it. So you have your first client and make it a transition preparing for marriage, moving. Tell me what either, what life was like before deciding to join the program with me, or even a little bit more about like, how did you get to the place of, okay, I’m gonna join this program, right? Because you, you, what you just said, you were in another program with another coach. And what I hear from people all the time, it’s just like this hesitancy of, well, I don’t want to do this coach hopping and you know, these business coaches out here just, it’s just fluff. They can’t really help you. Um, but as someone who has found success is curious about your mindset.
So I’m just, I’m just going to tell the story. So I was, so we were in, um, you know, visiting at a trip, you know, prior to COVID and Marvette was talking to me about like basically how the university was kind of under underpaying. And I knew this, like, we weren’t paid well for like adjuncting services or adjuncting, um, classes and, and just the income that I was making. Um, not that it was horrible. It wasn’t, it wasn’t horrible, but I knew that I could, I was, I could be making more with my time that my time was worth more. And so, um, she kind of planted, we were having this conversation and she was just like getting in me, getting on me about like, girl, are you really giving your time out for this? Like, you have way too much experience and way too much expertise and way too much to offer, to be doing this much work for this much money. And I was just like, no.
And like, I was like, Nope, Nope. My brain could not wrap, wrap around it. And then I don’t know what, I don’t know what changed, but something clicked. And I was like, Hmm, this is possible. And once I started to like do more and see more, and I had gotten that client in and all these different things and um, I got my client, let me, let me kinda back up a little bit. I got my client and then I stopped doing what was being suggested to do it. What got me, the client, I stopped doing what got me, the client. I started focusing on the client and I didn’t get any more clients for a few months. And it was like, wait, what happened? And so then we started talking and I started talking after that initial conversation. And I was like, Oh, that’s what happened.
And she kind of explained to me how, um, you know, how my mindset and how, what I was thinking, how I was thinking about this, this process and the situation, how my own beliefs about what needs to happen was holding me back. Just like, okay. And I could see it, I could see it happening. And so that’s how I decided to join her group program. Um, because I was, I was spinning my wheels, like the re the real I was spinning my wheels. I was getting caught up in my head. I was getting, um, kind of thrown off or what I thought needed to happen because we build up all these things in our mind to build up, you know, kind of, I need this, I need to do that. I did this wrong and this made a problem now, you know, we get, we get caught up. And so I remembered that conversation that we had previously, how she got me together. And I didn’t like it. It’s like, no, no future conversations. Coupled with that one. I was just like, no, I need this. Like, I can’t do this by myself. And while the, the program that I did previously was, was fine for, for what it, what I needed at that point. I knew I needed something different and, and she’d already showed me that, that’s what I needed. So I signed up in here
And I would say like, what was really reinforced for me in our conversation. Right. Cause I remember us talking and me being like, you know, this isn’t about if you should work with me or not, right. This is about what you need in like the coach you need for you. Um, and I’m always telling people like selling a service services, selling, like, people feel like you need to be sleazy, but it’s not as like you’re doing what’s in the best interest of the person you’re talking to. Right. And if you can, uh, let go detach from the outcome of, are they going to sign up with me or not? And you can just hold space and help them process what would be best for them, whether it’s through that person or someone else has got to come back, but there’s been this sort of helping people.
Yeah. Yep. Um, and the other piece too, I know, just base, whatever, all the coaches that are popping up and everybody’s like, I’m a mindset coach. I know that can come off as like, what girl are you just going to tell me to journal? And that’s it. Um, and so you saying like, I know I needed something different, right? Can you, can you talk a little bit more about that? Cause I’m thinking about the person who’s like, I don’t need anybody to have him in my mind. So I just need somebody to tell me what to do.
So that’s what I was thinking. The same thing too until I wish I remembered all the details, but I just, I know that like we, we had a conversation or it’s during the group or just kind of getting started and thinking about what was missing and it wasn’t that, like, I know how to post on Instagram. I know how to do a caption. I know how to, you know, do the mechanics of things. It’s not, I realize it’s not about knowing how to do it, but something was holding me back. And when we’re honest with ourselves, we can tell ourselves all day long that I can do this myself. But I guess my own awareness. And because I knew I drank a lot, I dermal myself, I do these things, I do this reflection. And so it allows me to be honest with myself and say, girl, if you were going to do it, you would have done it.
And so I had, I literally had to look at my situation and look at the progress that I had not made over the five months since I had gotten my first client four months. If I had gotten my first client, it’s like, it’s not about the things. Cause you did the things like, you know how to set up, you did a website on your own, you did all these other things. You can find information, we can learn how to do something, but there’s something that is holding back and it’s not in the, in the, the doing, it’s not the mechanics of it. So yeah, I mean in like just, just, just working with you, um, having to talk to me every time we had a conversation, I was like, what does happen?
Like what just happened? No, that, that’s what I was like, you can be the most and you can think you are the most self-aware person. You can help people all the time. Like that was one of my things like I’m a therapist. What do you mean? I know myself, but we, we are in our, in our heads, we are in our experiences way too deep to be able to see the full picture that I had that realization of. Like, if I, if I were having issues where I needed a therapist, I would see a therapist. Yeah. This is not different.
Yeah. I wish she could, like, I wish I could do like a copulation of our coaching calls and the facial expressions she give me.And right. It’s like, uh, there’s also an interesting space. Right? Cause we’re friends in real life. Right. And to have to switch off, like, I can’t be your friend right now. I gotta be your coach.That’s awesome.
It’s little interesting to navigate. Um, but I’m very much like personally used to switching, like when different friends that I’ve made, like switching, we could be talking and next thing they know, they didn’t switch to coach mode on me and I’m like, no, no, no, you’re supposed to just be my friend. Um, it, it works. It works. Um, so thinking about like we joined in September, right. Uh, August, September, um, how has things changed for you if at all, since made an a program.
Okay. So since being in the program, I have had like between, well, let me, let me, let me back up. So since being in the program, one I’ve really become way more in how I show up for my business. So one thing that I know that I was doing is looking at outlook in my private practice as like, that’s my full-time job coaching. That’s just something I do on the side. And so I really had to start being honest with myself about how, how much I really wanted this to work and how much I wanted to really be a, a real business and not, not a, not a side job. And so that I’ve really, you know, been able to name and be honest about what I want and not be afraid to say that I want this to be an entire movement and showing up in that way.
Like, I can’t say that and mean it, if I’m, you know, doing what I can when I possibly can maybe sometimes. And so being more consistent, showing up for my, my, my vision showing up for the people that I would want to help. And like, like just really, really treating it in that way, like really, really just showing up for myself and for my business. Um, figuring out how to be more authentic in moving past the few years that I’ve had about, you know, what do I say? What if I say the wrong thing, if I say the wrong thing and they, they, you know, I’m supposed to be this, this PhD, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I found that I’m not that smart. So even things that I didn’t even know that was still going on in my mind, drawing those things down and how they were holding me back. And so like, the coaching helps to bring those things to the forefront and, and shows me that one, like I can do these things for X, Y, and Z reasons. There’s no reason to be afraid of what I do naturally, but also like people are coming, people are showing up. So concretely, the other thing that it has done is I’ve been able to have 10 K months that I’ve been able to make not bad figures through my business. I had a launch in December that was more, that was 20 K plus.And that has been ongoing. And so like, I have a fully functioning on its way to being a six-figure business. Like I haven’t had a six-figure.I was about to say like, if my Mavs is, if we both, like, if my math is right, I feel like right there.
Let me, let me clarify. I did, I had a six-figure year, last year, last year, I had a sixth year. You did your year between both businesses. So like, but now I’m like, I want my six figure, you know, does this with my coaching business. And I know that’s coming. So thinking of it that way, like, this is no longer the side business. I want this to be, you know, this isn’t, this is my purpose, not my passion.Yeah. It’s growing, it’s growing. So tell us about the program. That’s going to get you to the six figures Tell us all about the gifted black girl.
Yes. Yes. So gifted black girl rehab is a group coaching program for, um, for, for the black girls who, you know, grew up feeling like the PR the pressures of being the smart one or the talented one. And the one that letic one, you know, whatever ways of gifting is that, you know, lets us feeling like we had to always be on. We had to always be doing the right things. We had to always get the grades. Um, we had to follow the path, get the job, et cetera, et cetera. And then we got there, we did it. We have these, these degrees, we have these careers or whatever the case, but it wasn’t what we envisioned, but we’ve left. We’ve been left with all of the remnants of what we were expecting to have. So now we are perfectionist who don’t fear making mistakes.
We people please, we put other people before ourselves. We feel like we have the whole family on our backs. Like we have the whole, whole culture on our backs, but we don’t get any peace. We don’t get any joy from it. We stressed out. We have, you know, all these, all these pressures. And so the program is designed to help women, specifically black women to kind of break down some of those, those thoughts and beliefs that have us like continuing in those patterns. So like talking about like avoiding laziness, like how that’s a, a pattern, that one it’s, it’s not real, it’s not, it’s not, what’s actually happening. And so figuring out, you know, more helpful ways of viewing ourselves in our work and our labor and our time and our energy setting, better boundaries for ourselves, not feeling like we have to say yes to everyone, not feeling like we have to constantly be giving of ourselves in order to be, um, good to be a good, you know, career person, worker, whatever your career is, a good daughter, a good parent, a good partner, whatever the case.
Um, and also just kind of figuring out how to, how to utilize our time so that we aren’t always over overly stressed, no fat figuring out how to take care of ourselves and what that room really looks like. And so it’s like, it’s a community, it’s a group production program. There’s a community of other black women. Um, we meet for 12 weeks on a weekly basis and there’s also a Facebook community just, you know, just as a community of other women too, to really support the process. Um, each client will get a one-on-one meeting with me. Okay. So that’d be that the individual lots accountability support, um, and then some other little goodies and things after one alone.
Yes. Um, and, you know, say this often at our podcast, we need people. And I know like, you know, whenever I do like gathering of black women together, one of the biggest things that I get is, Oh, no girl, I can’t do that. I don’t, I can’t, I can’t trust it being around other black women. I’ve been like burnt in the past or there’s some hurt there. And then when they come, they’re like, Oh, this isn’t what I thought it was going to be at all. You’re going to have that same experience. And it gives the Blackberry had like, it is about what would it mean for you to be around people who like, who got you and who wants to support you? Who like, who want to clap for you, who want to push you? And if they got to, you know, get you together a little bit, you know its from a place of love. And I know that can feel intimidating at first, but I promise you, I don’t regret it. You will.
Absolutely. And that has been my experience, both being a part of and leading these groups. Like I think my current clients who were in the group that I have right now, that’s been going on for a few weeks are surprised at just how, how seen and heard they feel on my workshop a couple of days ago, the same thing feeling like, just feeling seen for the first time for some people like it. It’s I keep saying it’s magical because it is, there’s like, there’s just that, that magical connection that’s that we don’t even, we don’t see, but it’s the air it’s made real in, in these spaces. Um, and so it really has been beautiful to see these connections and how black women are, you know, supporting each other. And some people have had those experiences for various reasons, but they haven’t been present in these spaces.
I mean, people, it’s hard to like, believe something you haven’t seen. Um, but I just I’m like, you just need to experience it one time. You just need to show up one time to get it. And I think about yesterday, there was somebody who was like first time inside of the finish your dissertation program. And this was the time look like in this group. It’s hard for me to stay in my coach mode because they, somebody is inevitable. Somebody is going to do something and it’s going to throw me off. It’s like yesterday, I’m coaching someone about taking care of themselves. And the next thing I know the group had broke out into as a Johnny Walker and last $2 sinking the song. My last two, these last $2, I’m not going to lose the, Oh, so you got to go back, you got to go back to your parents, you got to go back to the blues.
Um, but I just got thinking like, what other space could you just break out in song other people gonna take that, like come off of you and joining with you. And it’s a song that like your parents listened to. You was supposed to be asleep when they was, have to get together. You know? Um, I gotta find this song for Caitlin to put it in here. So people know what I’m talking about. Um, but I’m just, it’s just, you feel singing and you don’t have to explain, like, there was no, like, let’s stop and talk about what this is. We have the moment and then people enjoyed it and we moved on. And like, it’s a different experience when you don’t have to code, switch or explain to people like, well, it just happened. Nope. It is what it is And enjoy it so well, like somethings what seems seemingly so small, like with my workshop the other day, almost lots had black women. Yeah. And just that one thing people kept pointing out house is so nice to see slides with black women on like the bar is so low, so low, you know, just to, just to be, just to have a picture that represents you amplify that.
Yes, I was just, and again, I will be, I am ridiculous. I’m not code switching. I know I’m supposed to be over. You’re talking about like PhD, but you going to get all this, all these slides with all his hair, all his melanin. And I’m like, talk like I talk girly. I’m not just PhD. Don’t change who I am. Right. Uh, but yeah, the bar is so low, so, so low. We will be sure to put like your information down below. So if people want to find out more about how to join the program, they can, um, there’s, there’s another direction I’m going to go into this might need to be its own its own podcast episode. But before we get at, I just, I’m curious to know your thoughts. And I know we’ve had many a conversation about this world between coaching and therapy and the overlap and how have you been reconciling and what are your thoughts about it? I mean, I got bouts for days, but I’m just curious just a little bit as a preview targets our next episode.
Yeah. Yeah. So for me within, and I try to think that I’m hyper focused on maintaining that line just because one, you know, ethics and all that good stuff. I care about my license, but, um, for me, like therapy is much more of a focus on healing and, um, mental health related issues and kind of focus in on that family framework and how those things influence what’s happening. Um, and more so focused on understanding. That’s kind of part of the ways that I’m looking at it, mostly on understanding clarity and understanding and, um, and, uh, reshaping the way that you see the world, um, through your healing process, which does have an overlap with some of the coaching work. Like there’s an overlap, there’s some similarities, but with coaching, I see it as much more, um, focused on that future self and becoming that future self, whatever that self is, whatever it is you want to be to help you reach specific goals, a specific type of goals. And so there may be some of that wrapped up in there. Um, but coaching for me is so much more that pushing, whereas healing, our therapy is much more just kind of being in the, with decline, allowing them to leave going, you know, at their own pace, as long as they want to, um, or need to. Whereas coaching is like, no, here’s, here’s the timeline that we have and I’m gonna help you to reach your goals in, in this is a timeline that we’re, that we’re working with.
And so, yeah, that’s, that’s how I look at it, not to say that everything has to happen within that timeline, but it varies, you know, is time-sensitive or time, um, what’s the compound, um, I’m looking for. So that’s, those are some of my, my thoughts.
Yeah. I, I tell clients all the time you need both because there are going to be things that come up in both or the other will be the best fit for you to work those concepts out with. Um, and so I tell people, like, at least for me, I’m with my therapist who like can switch between both coach and therapist, but like the work that we’re doing is more therapy of me going back through things set and still need to work through from trauma that I experienced over my life, because it’s showing up, it’s showing up in my life right now, but I don’t always see it, especially when it comes to like anxiety and the different ways that manifest. Um, and so it’s just trying to figure out like why and where and how we can re work those things or rework those stories.
Um, and then my coach, while they overlap on the, this is how it’s showing up right now. My coach Nick can be like, you know, let’s just make a different decision and move forward, like pushing me, like you said, towards this, this future self. Um, and you know, when people ask me like, well, are you a therapist? I’m like, Nope, I am a coach. Um, but what I was going to say in terms of all the thoughts that I have, I am going to get on a soapbox for two seconds and I’m gonna come back off. I am frustrated with the amount of people who are coming out and saying that they’re a coach, but they’re not trauma-informed and no, I’m not. Anybody’s licensed professional. However, because of my background and being a student affairs, professional, or higher ed professional, we sit in this very like strange middle ground that we have to be trauma informed because we’re usually the first people on this scene when something like a crisis is happening and our role is to get the student to the professional they need to be, but you have to know some things in order for that to happen.
And so my issue with a lot of coaches is that they’re out here bringing up a lot of stuff with their clients, but they don’t know what to look for when they was supposed to refer out probably weeks ago, but they’re still trying to dig in old wounds. And so I’m gonna just leave it there and being like, I’m not telling you to go out and get a whole other degree you at the minimum, don’t need to know the signs to look for. If somebody is in crisis and you need to refer them out. But like I said, that’s a whole all or the conversation.
No, that, that is relevant to be real about it. I do know that there, there are people who will completely look past the red flags because they want the client. One thing that I do not play about, like I’ve had several clients where, because people, because I am a therapist, people will look and say, Oh, it’s a therapist and we’ll have a conversation, we’ll have a call. And then I’ll have to say this isn’t appropriate for, you know, coaching. Like, you know, if you go go to therapy and if you want to come back after you’ve done that or want to work in conjunction, then that’s fine. But there’ve been several, several clients I’m like, Nope. And I’ll tell them, like, part of me being a therapist, part of the benefit of being a therapist is being able to recognize those things. Um, but we have to be honest with ourselves when we know that somebody needs something different.
Yeah. Yeah. I’ve had a few clients where I had to be like right now, coaching, is that what you need? And this is going to be really hard, but it’s not what you need right now. Um, so yeah. Um, so for those of you considering getting a coach, making sure, you know, they can provide you what you need, just meaning spending more time than getting to know them, what they’re about, what their program consists of, what they can do and what they can’t do. Um, so as we wrap up, are there any final thoughts that you have for people who are thinking about joining happy, free and paid? Um, cause I don’t think I even said that in this episode, that is the name of the program.
Um, but is it the outro, um, Anyone who’s on the fence about joining, um, any words that you would have for them? Do it like for real, y’all like.
I started with the group coaching week and I’m now in the one-on-one coaching. And if I didn’t believe in this process and believe in Marvette of it as a coach, I shouldn’t be spending my coins on this one option. Okay.
But what I do know is it is absolutely helping me to really figure out how I want to expand my business and step into that rather than playing small because I’m over here. Like I just on with my little, what did it know? Like that’s fear talking, that’s being afraid of of saying that I want it. Um, and so I would absolutely recommend doing one-on-one coaching or doing the group or whatever I’m doing happy for you and pray paid, um, group with us because it’s like, it has helped me much to move past, like to get over myself really, to just get over myself and actually see the, the, the vision and the fruits of my labor actually that shouldn’t come and become a reality. So yeah. That’s, that’s what I’d say.
Thank you so much for coming on the show today. Thank you so much, Dr. Richardson. And of course, we have to have you back because we have more to talk about. Thank you for having me so much. I always enjoy these conversations like yeah. Yes, yes. Okay.